YOU are the president of a religion which earnestly believes, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that 75 million years ago an alien named Xenu ruled more than 76 planets, including Earth (known as Teegeeack), and tried to solve a population problem by blowing up beings with nitrogen bombs from DC8 planes.

Yes, the Church of Scientology International is looking for new recruits. And who would be so open-minded enough to sign up?

Every single AM received a parcel from California in the past week containing a DVD showing “the rich diversity of our global membership” and a letter imploring them to get involved.

With its “effectiveness in motivating people to fulfil the potential of their personal and professional lives”, perhaps Scientology could help propel backbenchers into ministerial positions. Or maybe not. One Plaid AM passed his onto Spin Doctor, and it’s still in the plastic wrapper.