The Sermon of Rev. Dr. Bishop Two Beans, CotSG, as heard during the >9000 Anon March in Washington DC 7-19-08

For those that couldn’t attend, or for those that have nothing better to do other than read posts about events that they were at and saw for themselves, I present the sermon I gave at the march in its original text…


Greetings Anonymii, Old Guard, Goons, B-tards, Mutants, SubGenii, Discordians, Pastafarians, and Scientology Plants.

I am the Rev. Dr. Bishop Two Beans, Ex-Pope of the East Bay in absentia, Sir Minister Sinister, unofficial liaison to Anonymous from the Church of the SubGenius. Praise be onto the SubGenius founder and leader, J.R. “Bob” Dobbs.

Thank you all for coming down to the big shindig today. We’ve had a lot of speakers here that have spoken at length about the nefarious deeds wrought by the Church of Scientology, now it turn for the biggest religious rivals of the clams to pipe in and provide their perspective on the Sons of Elron. There’s only one way for me to properly do this, and that is with a genuine, sanctified, true SubGenius sermon.

But before we can start, it is customary before a SubGenius sermon is to begin to perform a little ritual, and I invite you all to join in on this holy tradition.

So if you could all please bow your heads, and join me for a second of sacred BobBlammed NOISE NOISE NOISE MAKE SOME NOISE ANONYMOUS *salute* EYIEYIEYIEYIEYI!!!

Praise “Bob”!

Brothers and sisters, what exactly is the Church of Scientology? Are they a religion? As a follower of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, I would have to say yes. They are as much of a true religion as the Church of the SubGenius is. We SubGenii share much in common with the Scientologists. We’re both devoted worshippers of a fraud and charlatan. We both have a belief system founded upon a generous helping of hypocrisy and dubious intentions. We both have an insatiable thirst for the cash from the nieve and ignorant. We both imbibe upon questionable activities in the duties of our services, and we both make really bad music.