In this excerpt from an early lecture by L Ron Hubbard, he lays out his view of the Japanese language.

There is no more madder nation than Japan. And you walk down the street in Japan and you say to some Japanese, “Blah-d-blah, blither-blither,” something of the sort. And he says, “I withhold my foul breath from your face,” and “Yes,” and so on. And he goes on down the street. And you told him that you were on your way home and you wanted him to go on to the office. And he took it that you were on your way to the office and you wanted to go home.

It’s supposed to be a terribly hard language. It’s not a hard language. It’s as simple as baby talk, really. It’s an awfully easy language in terms of languages. Some of the Malay languages are a little bit rough.

Meanwhile, another Hubbard quip gives an explanation of Pearl Harbour that would put David Icke to shame.

‘A very bad offender is Japanese. Japanese is very homonymic. Two Japanese talking to each other on the street would probably have a very rough time of it unless they could watch each other’s mannerisms and gestures. As long as they can see these things they are perfectly confident of what the other is saying. Because they leave off their articles and pronouns and are generally undifferentiative, the language can be thoroughly misinterpreted.


We wonder why they went mad and bombed Pearl Harbor when they knew they couldn’t win. That would be a reason. Language has been unsafe in this world for an enormous amount of people who are now pushing up daisies in the various forgotten battlefields on this planet.’