Intergalactic tyrants beware: the boys in blue are after you

Anyone who thinks the police aren’t interested in diversity will be amazed by the links they have built with Scientology

Once again our great nation has entertained the world, putting on two stunning exhibition matches this week. First was the Champions League final, between the clubs who finished first and second in our very own Premier League. The second – and whether the parties were quite as closely matched as Manchester United and Chelsea will be for you to decide – was between a 16-year-old schoolboy and City of London police, who arrested him for carrying a placard referring to Scientology as a “cult”. The files went all the way to the Crown Prosecution Service before finally being dropped yesterday.

This story has gone around the world beneath such edifying headlines as “UK minor faces charges for calling Scientology ‘cult’ at protest”; and when you’ve finished wondering why we’re such a pathetic country sometimes, we should endeavour to divine precisely what it is he was meant to have done wrong.